www.chabadofthegardens.com | Blogs | Rabbi Mordechai Z. Hecht Blog

New York is back: a day in the life summer 2021

Sun, 6 Jun 2021 4:56:00 PM

My daughter liba is off to summer camp in two weeks and she asked me If we could head to the city one time before shoe goes away for two months To which I gladly relied in the affirmative. Little did I know that I might just enjoy the day More than her. We started out at midtown and walked down town to Strands books store. Strands is a unique place as it had old new and used and vintage books all in one spot. After picking up a few good reads on American Jewish history we made out way to a park. As a native of Forest Hills I don’t spend much time in the city But eventually I found out the name of the park. Union square park , what a place . People of all walks of life. All ethnicities and colors and types. Eventually I take a seat on a bench across from some homeless people on one side, some youngsters on the other and our friends the pigeons upfront and center. I manage to read a few pages from one of the books I had just purchased and then off we went to explore the sites and sounds of this park. As I’m walking through the park I begin to contrast and compare with My visit to a park in Zurich Switzerland, three years ago. Then I start to recall my stroll through the park in Scotland and Melbourne Australia. Places I’ve been All in recent years. Amazingly I have to say this park takes the cake. The diversity, the share depth and breadth of what is going on in the center of our city truly makes for a tourist destination. As the stroll continues I can not help but notice the street bands, the African drummers, the amazing Jazz musicians and all the artists and vendors selling fresh and colorful art work, each with a unique twist. All in all my walk through Lincoln Square park was quite inspiring refreshing and even motivating. I also found it quite funny that I had just purchased another book and Lincoln Only to learn that this park had a statue of him. Living in NY my entire life and still learning new things. Take a few minutes, hours and days this summer to get out! Get out and explore the wonderful city and country we live in Enjoy it and let it a source of revitalization and inspiration for you and your friends. New York- welcome back home. Link to photos : Link to “Lincoln and the Jews: book review”

A Mask For Privilege

Tue, 6 Oct 2020 10:05:00 PM

שקופים אטומים: חלק א'

A Mask For Privilege

Rosh Hashanah 5781

by Mordechai Zev Hecht

In the Code of Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch HaRav) Section 301,16, a section of laws referring to carrying in a public domain on Shabbos, it is written:

“One does not go out with an Ankotmin - and this is a type of donkey costume that performers wear and it looks like one is riding it as one wears it and walks with his feet.”...[ there is an opinion in the Gemora, Rashi, who says it’s actually a form of mask].

“One also does not go out with Farmi - a mask that has artwork on it that one wears on their face to frighten children. Masui Heim - they are a burden and they are not considered clothing or jewelry [and not allowed to wear it on Shabbos in public domain]...if you did however go out with it on Shabbos you are potur - relieved, because this is not the way of going out for most people”

~.~

If one were learning the laws of shabbos one would learn this and keep moving along, paying little attention to this law. One would even most likely wonder why it’s even in the code of Jewish law as quite practically no one in the Western world ever does this, surely not on Shabbos. This is clearly more for the street performer or clown in a circus etc. or at best something worn on Purim. And we all know that Purim which falls on Shabbos is postponed to Sunday, etc. so practically we’re not wearing it ever on Shabbos now-a-days.

However, reflecting on this law in light of Covid, if you pay attention, this law glows in the dark, like an ancient hidden holographic.

Who would ever imagine in their wildest imagination that in the 21st century the question of wearing a mask and on Shabbos would ever arise?

The answer?! No one!

Yet here we find a 2,000 year old law sitting quietly and patiently to be rediscovered, explored, and perhaps considered and reapplied once again.

~.~

A Mask for privilege

I recently found an old book in the library entitled: A Mask for privilege - by Carey McWilliams, 1948. An encyclopedic book about a farm-boy gone businessman gone writer. This book addresses the analysis of anti-democratic practices that affect the whole fabric of American life, not only for Jews but for all minorities.

The name alone caught my attention, “A Mask for privilege” obviously so, considering all the insanity and deep concern for human life - and the now infamous - mask.

On page 187 he lucidly writes with no bars pulled:

“The crack-pot anti-semitic propagandist is compelled by the nature of his task to exaggerate.”

Furthermore, he writes:

“..to expose the emptiness of anti-semitic propaganda and it’s lack of programmatic content is therefore largely a meaningless undertaking...however, he goes on to say: how can we not address this, to be vague about it would be fallacious as “the effectiveness of this propaganda was the chief thing which altered the attitude of the masses.”

He goes on to list names of people in the 30’s and 40’s like Pelley, Joe Jeffers, Smith, Joe McWilliams etc. who for years “weren’t taken seriously” the ultimate reason for their successes in Germany and the world as they, these “crack-pot anti semites, had the covert backing and support of powerful and respectable behind-the-scenes-elements.”

On page 137 he further notes, as one of many such examples of discrimination, that in 1946 the decreased enrollment in vocational schools was due to discrimination etc. and how “Dr. Albert Sprague Coolidge of Harvard University testified before a Massachusetts legislative committee that: “we know perfectly well that names ending in Berg, Stein, etc. have to be skipped by the board of selection of students for scholarships in Chemistry.”

~.~

Reawaken a consciousness

When Covid, the Corona Virus pandemic hit us we thought that the worst was upon us, it was horrible, no need reminding us, but what came after that was like the mold we find after the clean up from the flood ensues.

The riots across America, something we haven't seen in decades, if ever. Police stations burning! The National Guard on city streets across America. Terrifying for many of us. Numerous people lost their lives and livelihood because of it. NYC was a ghost town for weeks. What Corona didn’t take - the Riots did. Was it necessary is the question we all ask. Were the protesters gone rioters warranted?! I’ll let you answer that Question.

I just want to ask one question which I believe perhaps we can all answer and this is, what is the lesson in it for us?

I believe everything that happens in the world, based on the teachings of the Holy Baal Shem Tov passed down to us by the Lubavitcher Rebbe and his pure and holy ancestry is to: Reawaken a consciousness in us. When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

When Covid hit us we began to plan and activate and execute everything we knew to fight the virus. We visited the drawing boards, the science labs. The human psyche and the human condition were tested to the max and we needed to truly dig deep and find our strongest selves in order to practically survive our struggle.

The irony in all this was, that at home, in isolation, we took off our masks, We could no longer hide from ourselves. The only people we could and were able to face - were ourselves. Home alone if you wish.

If we survived alone, with our closest few and we were visibly and practically in good company of sorts then we were blessed. And if when we were in isolation we discovered how lonely we really are on the inside and how truly moldy we are, well then we too are blessed.

The reason we are blessed in that finding as well is because, what we didn’t notice about our true inner selves, oneself, on our own, G-d helped us discover by force.

The riots that ensued during and post the Pandemic here in NY and the US was the inner struggle oozing out. It is the inner mold surfacing. What happened was the Pandoras box effect if you wish.

The “crack-pot’ anti-semites” will always be that. Yet, perhaps laying dormant in all those riots was indeed an innocent voice in the protest trying to truly surface and to show how America truly has work to do on its biases and its Anti Semitic nature and culture. I wish you could recall the weeks prior to the Pandemic with shootings etc. in Synagogues across America and our great investments in security etc. No doubt, collectively, America has much of an accounting to make, introspection, and reflection on its demographics and inner culture and subculture, which G-d willing will produce great results in due time, if not immediately than hopefully gradually.

~.~

The world is a mask

You see the world by nature is called Mask. Olam- world in Hebrew - means concealment.

Our job is to remove the mask. Rosh Hashanah is the Birthday of man and man is tasked with Tikkun Olam - removing the proverbial mask of our individual selves and the world at large.

Our job is to bring to the surface all the hidden goodness and light. We are not allowed to hide in the mask. The mask is not one of privilege, but one strictly of survival.

Quite frankly, we are commissioned by the call of G-d and now perhaps the call of the shofar - to remove it.

Masui Heim - It’s a Burden

Perhaps what the code of Jewish law here is actually saying is: Masui Hem - the Ankotmin and the Marfi are a burden, for the wearer and as we now understand it - for the world at large. It's practically frightening - not only to a little child but to us all - the children of G-d - lest we forget this.

Our prejudices and our biases and our hatefulness are masks and it’s not the true “me”, and “I” and “we”, collectively. It’s what we would deem muktzah to carry out on Shabbos - it’s profanity in light of holiness and ‘not worn by most’. You wore the proverbial mask till now?! Potur - You are relieved of this burden, you are Forgiven! But henceforth - rid of it!

Time to be truthful, to yourself, the world, and ultimately G-d.

Sure we need to be careful and keep somewhat of a guard up, but you see we don’t need to hide the Steins and the Bergs anymore. We’ve evolved and developed as a society. America has learned how to be good to us, lest we forget the lessons of history however.

Cure for man, cure for the world

We don't need to reinvent the wheel or the world but every so often we need to revisit the underpinnings of a moral society which is the same ethics and values for a moral and ethical ‘self’.

Perhaps Rosh Hashanah is this exact recipe. If we wouldn't take accounting once a year and proceed with a thorough cleaning we would never address the ‘inner mold’ and the inner “crack-pot” that needs addressing, removal, and cleaning.

Now, I know, I gather you don't like the word ‘crack-pot’?!

But what is it about it that you don't like?! You know in the Talmud we have a saying:

“One does not sin without a spirit of Folly - Ruach Shtus - that enters oneself”.

This Ruach Shtus - Rabbi Shtainzalts - Even Yisroel OB”M calls the inner moment of ‘Insanity’, I propose we call it the ‘inner crack-pot’.

The part of every single one of us that convinces us that our genuine wrongs are genuine rights.

In the words of the Rebbe Rashab, the: “I’m still a Jew regardless complex”.

When in a moment of light and truth we know this to be the farthest from the truth. Perhaps what allows us to foster these disingenuine truths is as simple as our colleague in arms, albeit no sage or even a Jew - Mr. McWilliams said it: ‘it is because they are supported by staunch supporters and gone unchecked.’

Time to remove the mask

Rosh Hashanah 5781 we remove the mask, the proverbial one and G-d willing soon the physical one, and we address our inner truths, truthfully and responsibly….

Not Like anything else before - Covid 19, May 1,2020

Fri, 1 May 2020 12:48:00 PM

Not Like anything else before - Covid 19, May 1,2020

Mordechai Z. Hecht, - Queens, NY

March 18, 2020 - a day that will go down in infamy.

It came - and we were commanded to “Shelter in place”.

Wait what?!

None ever even heard of such a term. We all jumped to figure this out. We scrambled for a precedent of sorts to grasp what was happening. Immediately we jumped on the Spanish Flu. Sheww. Now we have a president, wonderful! How did that help us? Did it employ us, pay our bills, take care of elderly, provide ventilators, school or shul us?! What ensued were endless press conferences and conflicting statements from our leadership, time and again and gain.

Albeit, knowledge is power and somehow by knowing it’s sorta happened before this gave us some level of comfort thinking that if they survived the world back then, perhaps, maybe, who knows-probably many of us will too. Fast forward May 1st, 2020 - many and most of us did. Amazing! Truly amazing. Miraculous perhaps.

Hundreds of thousands of us didn’t survive.

Millions were infected and countless lost their lives bitterly and without respite or anything we could do about it.But Millions of us, wait billions of us survived. (ps. The bubonic plague wiped off the face of the earth half of humanity)

The BlitzKrieg. That was another one I heard bombing day after day - how did they survive, many didn’t and the pain was endless until the war ended and casualties were rallied up and death tolls soared and skyrocketed. Fast forward 2020 and we have endless stories to tell of the Wars back when.

The great Depression - now this is more like it. Countless people broke, food rationed and no end in sight. The great depression was horrid - the things people did to make a few cents - God save us. But the great depression was real and it took us decades to recover, and the challenges along the ride home were more than something to write home about.

Cholera in 1830’s, the Bubonic Plague in the 1500’s, Hurricane disasters, Floods, Tornadoes discussions on all these fronts served to help us wrap our minds around the insanity of the carnage, destruction and pain and loss.

However, in 2020 we in the US live in a world where we don’t have kings or Totalitarian regemists controlling our lives nor Bubonic plagues for that matter - and even with all the rules and regulations we still have so many freedoms and scores of things to be grateful for.

I don't think people during the Spanish Flu, could possibly have known how their fellow world mates were doing elsewhere in the world at the time as we do with the internet. I also don't believe that they had an inkling of understanding about virology in the way we do today in light of microphysics, nanotechnology and quantum mechanics.

There's a saying in Jewish law, which makes it clear how we adjust and react and rule about something: “Ain Don Dayin Ela Mah Sheaynov Raos” - “a judge can only rule based upon what he sees”. Covid 19 came upon us in an acute way, it hit us like a storm and we reacted the way we knew best - at the time. If, there are responsible institutions or people that should have and could have prepared us and the world for this and they didn't - well for that there will be CSpan and another monotonous months long Senate hearings to prove or disprove what they chose, did or didn't do properly.

We, however the responding people of the world, be it the governments or Medical world or Rabbinic world, did what they saw fit, at the time, as the best way to address and respond to the emergency and that included and was spearheaded by one idea: Save as many lives as possible - and this is priceless. As Rabbi Dr. Steinberg, master ethicist noted: “NO mitzvah in the entire Torah, nor all the mitzvos combined outweigh this notion and mitzvah - save lives.

Yet, Covid 19 was without a doubt like nothing we ever saw before in history - because we never lived before and because the worlds dynamics were not the same. As professor Leib Abrams once noted: “In Sociology we say, History doesn't repeat itself” - it’s a different time, a different place and different circumstances. We need to stop comparing and sharing it in that way.

In 1918 we didn’t have the hoards of medicines we have or the USS Comfort (or President Trump) or Cell phones or Gas heat and paved roads and highways or Ezpass or Amazon or Walmart and its billion products - at our fingertips.

Never in world history have we ever been locked up like this, never before. That all our Schools and shuls should be shut down and closed - practically world wide- for weeks and months on end - never. If Rabbi Akiva Eiger and the Rebbes of the world-of-old would see this, they would shed tears like rivers for it to end sooner.

So no teaching of any teacher or Rebbe for that matter is ultimately what is going to get us back, no YouTube video of the Spanish Flu or Google photo of the 1800’s cholera outbreak or Historical documents and ancient paintings of the Bubonic plague going to do anything real for us today, here and now.

However, history can be nice and giving and hindsight is 2020, as Reb Zalman always used to say and there is lots we can learn from it but what we need to do now and most of all is: to teach ourselves now our present, and adjust to a new future. Focus on the present and plan ahead for our futures. Work on changing what we can, and let us stop worrying on changing what we can not. Work on ourselves, our health, well being mentally and physically and spiritually. We survived and for this we must be FOREVER grateful. We all have a new lease on life - what are going to do with it.

As parents, siblings and friends, fellow human-aires - what we CAN DO is help one another. Like the first responders and Doctors and nurses worldwide, and the truck drivers and store clerks and pharmacists etc. etc. etc. My only fear somewhat is that many of us are - but many of us have fallen trap to following and bellowing in our sorrows and the darkness of this all - don't let it own you. Get up! Get out! Get going.

Selichot Mindset 5780

Sat, 21 Sep 2019 9:33:00 PM

*THE SELICHOT MINDSET 5780*: This Saturday night (Sunday morning), we Ashkenazim will begin saying selichot. I’ve always seen that as the “opening ceremony” of the High Holiday season – when I stand in shul on the first night of selichot and the chazzan begins by reciting Kaddish in that special tune reserved for this time of year, that’s when I know that Rosh Hashana is shortly upon us. I have been saying selichot every year since I was a child but this year I came to a stark conclusion about doing it with joy. You see what I’m speaking about today is the difference between Ashkenazim and Sephardim and the difference in the attitude towards selichot. I for one grew up Thank God in Sephardic shul, under the leadership of my dear father may he live and be well, so here’s a recommendation for all of my Ashkenazi brothers and sisters: if you have never recited selichot in a Sephardic congregation, then make it your business to do so, at least once. You’ll probably be amazed. The differences start with the texts themselves, which are organized differently. It’s true that for both groups, the central feature of the selichot is the frequent repetition of the Yod-Gimel Midot shel Rachamim, the Thirteen Attributes of Divine mercy (Shemot 34:6-7). And both groups have piyutim (poetic recitations) that were written at various time periods interspersed between the recitations of the Thirteen Attributes. But that’s where the similarity ends. Ashkenazim, who only say selichot for 2-3 weeks, Chabas only 1 week, use different poetic recitations each day, whereas the Sephardim are content to say the exact same text every day for 40 days (with some supplementary parts added during the 10 days of Teshuva). Another difference has to do with the Shofar. The Sephardim blow the Shofar during selichot, as the Yod-Gimel Midot are recited. It’s an exhilarating thing to hear – while the congregation recites the Thirteen Atributes in unison, the sound of the Shofar rises from the crowd triumphantly, almost like the victory blasts of a conquering army charging in to defeat their enemy. Ashkenazim don’t do it that way. This leads to a very different feeling during our selichot, which sound more contrite than victorious. (Of course, we blow the Shofar in Elul as well, but not during selichot. Instead, we blow it a single time at the end of the morning prayers each day. When the Shofar is sounded this way, in a quiet room without the accompanying voices of the congregation, it also takes on a completely different character. For Ashkenazim, the Shofar becomes God’s announcement to us, calling us to attention so to speak, as opposed to our own triumphant proclamation like it is for the Sephardim. But the most significant difference between Ashkenazi and Sephardi selichot is something you can’t see if you study the texts in a library; you need to attend the different services in order to understand what I’m talking about. It’s simply that the mood in the room is fundamentally different. The Ashkenazic service is serious, contrite and in some cases almost mournful. Not so in the Sephardic service – there, one hears uplifting melodies, and experiences a joyous atmosphere. This is true even when singing in a very happy tune. So this year I consider perhaps allowing the "Chassidic selichot" take it's roll, a combination of both. Perhaps what the Rebbe would call "Shokeldikerhayt- in high spirits (wobbly)." Solemn but with joy. Joy of the mitzvah and grateful that we have the oportunity to clean ourselves up and clean our slate and pray for a new begining and a happy and healthy sweet new year. Serious and joyous aren't a contradiction after all. At Anshe Sholom Chabad we take pride in hosting Jews of all walks of Jewish history and practice. In one of the Rebbes talks, during the farbrengen of Elul 18, 5711, the Rebbe said: “It is now Chai Elul, when we begin the twelve days of reflection on the past year, and the preparation for the next year. There are two ways we can do this: with awe and bitterness, or with love and joy. One must know that even though the approach of awe and bitterness is easier, it is better and -geshmaker- more enjoyable -to start with love and joy. Ashkenazi selichot and Sephardic ones may seem so different on the surface – and yet in truth, we are both observing the same custom. The paradoxical coexistence of joy and awe is built into the very fabric of the High Holiday season. Sephardim tapped into one aspect of that paradox, and Ashkenazim to another. Now that we can pray with each other, together, we can each learn from what the other has developed, and all of us can deepen our understanding and observance of the Torah. It’s really amazing. The main thing is all our prayers to Almighty God should be answered and we should only see revealed good in our lives. amen. #pray #character #jewish #joy #god

8 questions every parent can ask themselves

Sun, 7 Jul 2019 12:23:00 PM

She Was Doing So Well, And Then...

8 questions every parent can ask

with Rabbi Mordechai Z. Hecht

During the summer here in New York, many children go to camp—be it day camp, sports programs or summer school, and for the lucky ones, sleepaway camp.

Parents missing their "little squirts," boychiks, meidelach, zeeskeits, etc., move on as their children are away, and parents actually make some long-awaited time for themselves, and kudos to them indeed.

However, it's also that time when we receive report cards—which brings us to reflect on a full school year's accomplishments and, in some instances, the challenges and even failures of our children.

The summer is no better a time for us to take a few moments for introspection and reflection on our children's behaviors and achievements—to consider their past and perhaps consider some great steps for growth and future success both academically and behaviorally.

Take a Second Look

Are you one of those parents who noticed a somewhat drastic change in your child's report card? Perhaps we the parents need to take an even deeper look to discern “why the changes.”

I believe a series of great questions can be asked, and their answers can be very promising.

What changes can possibly be going on in your child's life? Some changes may include and should be strongly considered, and of which we can fairly and surely ask ourselves:

1. Is my child going through biological changes, including hormonal changes, and what if anything can I do to help them?

2. Can it be that my child has had a change of friends, or change of attitude and behaviors in their friends, etc.?

3. Can there be a change of teachers, or circumstances in their teachers’ lives, that could be impacting their behavior in the classroom and beyond?

4. Perhaps the curriculum is really growing and your child has yet to meet those changes face to face?

5. Perhaps your child isn't telling you something, including all of the above and more?

6. Very often parents who are separated or divorced won’t both be getting the messages in reference to their children from the school.

7. Has something happened that my child hasn't told me about that is of critical importance?

Parents often tend to get busy—besides, of course, our super busy-ness with the king of busy-ness: our cell phones—and we tend to be preoccupied. There’s no greater time than now, as the breeze is cool and the sun is shining, for us to take five minutes and really ask ourselves:

8. What can I do today to better my child's education, my relationship with their educators and to improve their overall behavior and personality?

Sometimes there are simple patterns that children follow; other times they exhibit no outstanding changes until you see their report cards, at which point you find yourself wondering,Huh! I wonder why that is!

Consider discussing your concerns, feelings and findings with the appropriate people who can help you answer and address them.

Often enough, the answers can be super-redeeming and very refreshing.

30 Minutes a Day

In the Hayom Yom of Teves 22, the Rebbe teaches us, in the name of his father-in-law, the previous Rebbe:

"My revered father, the Rebbe [Rashab], once declared at a farbrengen: ‘Just as putting on tefillin every day is a Scriptural commandment incumbent on every Jew, regardless of whether he is a great Torah scholar or a simple person, so too it is an absolute obligation for every Jew to dedicate half an hour every day to thinking about his children’s education, and to do everything in his power—and indeed, more than what is in his power—to see to it that they follow the path in which they are being guided.’”

Take a second look at those last words.

All too often, parents "drop their kids off" at school, shul or camp; perhaps we need to ask ourselves what am "I" doing each day to remember to also "pick them up" - to further my children’s education on "the path" that I obviously want them to succeed in. Perhaps "drop off" isn't enough. The Rebbe, in the name of his father-in-law, the first formal principal of the Chabad yeshivah and educational network, is teaching us a fundamental principle in education: that one must, in fact, do "everything in his power" to continuously improve the Jewish education of his children.

Best wishes to all for a beautiful, meaningful, powerful and happy summer.

On saying I love you & Reb Levi Yitzchok Schneeron

Thu, 22 Nov 2018 12:24:00 PM

On saying “I Love you” & Reb Levi Yitzchok Schneerson

by Mordechai Zev Hecht

www.chabadchinuch.org

I vividly recall how, as a child, 'Pizza' was a treat. It was exciting to go out and eat pizza and fries and if you got a falafel you (I) were (was) rich. Even to order-in pizza, especially on Thursday nights, or from time to time Sunday nights, instead of eating the leftovers from Shabbos we got pizza, it was exciting. (Exciting; like when my father bought us prizes each day, when my mother went away for a week to Australia to attend a simcha).

I also recall hearing time and again “pizza isn’t healthy”, regardless whether or not it was healthy it was an easy dinner for my mother - of 14. Quite frankly, it tasted good and it felt good when you ate it - and you enjoyed it, and you were fed & nourished

Many things have a way of changing over time, but I don’t know if pizza has. I still believe every kid still sees pizza as a treat, whatever day of the week - with falafel or without.

I recall, in my early twenties, the first time I was exposed to sushi. I didn’t like it.

Eventually Sushi “went viral” and on to become a major hit. There isn’t a pizza shop today or a supermarket that doesn’t roll sushi, and then some.

Siblings

People always ask me, what it was like growing up with soo many brothers and sisters, truth be told their is much to say. But I think there is one thing that speaks volumes which actually stands out louder in my mind more than anything else. We helped take care of each other, most of us anyway. Growing up together as a family with three boys in one bedroom and at times as many as five, besides for my sisters in the other rooms, bonding happens. This bonding included going to school and camp together, playing games at home and in the park, helping each other out with homework, riding bikes together, running around together, reading to each other and all the normal stuff good brothers do together. As I reflect, I realized how much we loved each other, how much we had each others backs and how we truly cared for one another, (most of us anyway). These friendships carried on into our adult lives and have served us well, through thick and thin.

Parents

Being parents of soo many children is no easy task - to say the least. But then again I know many parents of only 1 child who suffer endlessly in their upbringing. So when people ask about the term “I love you”, I wonder! How important are those three words. I mean if your parents provide for you shelter, food and clothing and they send off you off to private school, Yeshivah, and summer camp and everything else in between, what is it if not love, right?!

Well not exactly. You see I recall some other things from my childhood like the crime rate in NYC, panhandlers, homelessness, “broken glass” and “graffiti”, the old subway system and much hitting in the education system. Like sushi today, today’s new form of discipline didn’t exist back then in our society. (Or did it?!)

On Saying I Love You

To say that pre 2000-the computer age, parents didn’t know how to say “I love you” and now they do, is incorrect. There is no such data proving this. Rather what we had was certain societal norms, certain things that were ok and accepted and not considered taboo both socially and religiously speaking.

Today we are more educated. We are more in touch with our feelings. Today we have organizations and books and websites and grass roots “loud speakers” that train, teach and educate people on how to be the best people they can be - seasoned educators and long time parents included.

On the psychology of the words ”I Love you”

So, how important are these three words, “I - love - you”. Do people grow up happier and healthier if they hear it as they grow from infancy to teenage life and beyond?

The answer is: ask yourself one simple question: “how important is the person you are saying it to in your life”?! If I walk up to someone I never met and I say: “Hey you, I Love you”- what does it mean? mostly, nothing, zilch!

If you’re dating someone, you really don’t like and you go up to them and you say: “Hey! “I Love you”, what does it mean? The answer is also, a resounding nothing. You can say it, no one stopping you. You can "fake it till you make it", if you chose. But at that moment when you said it - it meant nothing.

Particularly when, you are something to someone saying “I Love you” - is critical. Not saying it creates doubts and often insecurity -it's how we are hardwired.

There are only two types of people, 1) timid and 2) egotistical. If as an educator or a parent you had a hard time saying those words, “I love you”, it’s simply because you were either timid, shy, bashful, you were not used to hearing it in your life, or you saw those words to mean something else, or you saw them as hypocritical and non-action words and so you shied away from using them.

Or, you were egotistical. If you loved a student and was so proud of them yet you couldn’t express that feeling this is because you either saw the student as a threat, or you had a personal challenge in your own life with this kind of experience and so you can’t let go. You can’t move beyond it and get ahead of it, to let the student hear how wonderful he or she really is or was. Or perhaps, because this child, student, or blood-child, doesn’t offer you anything, no fame or fortune and so you can’t say I love you because you are too intellectual too egotistical and can’t allow that progeny to feel great, safe and loved with him or herself all because you get nothing out of it. You can say it to your co worker, your cousin your nephew or niece, (and you love to hear it yourself) who give you all the affirmation you need, but for some strange reason you can’t give that same affirmation to someone else.

Training and educating and coaching our children to get to the core of our personalities can help us navigate healthily in life on a path that is productive and kind. We need to cultivate a loving and safe, nurturing feeling amongst our loved ones.

Rachel & Leah of the Bible

“…and Jacob loved Rachel…”and G-d knew Leah was hated so he opened her womb…” (Exodus 28) and she eventually fathered 6 of the 12 tribes, and then some. This is one of the most stirring sagas in the entire Torah. Hate, love and expressing ourselves is as old as humanity. Regardless of what society does or hosts or bolsters, Jews look to the Torah for advice for more than 3,300 years and if we would look carefully we would see both philosophically and Halachically that time and again love and expressing it, is a central and key component to any healthy and successful relationship. After all is it not G-d alone who commands us to love G-d and to actually recite thrice daily: “And you shall love Hashem, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might.” (Deuteronomy 6) Awkward enough, “love” like pizza, never gets old, or not seen as a most desirable treat in the eyes of man.

The Rebbe and His Father

The love between a father and a son is unbreakable, (most of the time). The love between a Chassid and a Rebbe is ultimately unexplainable. The love between saints and sacred sages is on the highest level possible. Put those all together and this is what you get, the love of Reb Levi Yitzchok Schneerson ZT”L, the Rebbe's father, and the Rebbe. An excerpt of the letter he wrote to his son at his wedding time, as he was unable to attend, he was in Ukraine and the Rebbe in Warsaw, Poland. I believe we can use these words as a paradigm poetry, lore and law for love to one another. Reading it, you can almost feel the chills and the warmth oozing out of the words.

" To my dear son, my beloved, my colleague, my precious, my desirable, accept my blessings from the depth of my heart and the core of my soul on the occasion of your wedding, of which you should have mazal-tov with G-d's help...I share with you all my blessings which comes from the essence of my heart...although we are not with you physically, we are with you in heart and soul which no space in the world can interfere with, we are soo with you...may you be blessed physically and spiritually, absolute good, only good, good both in the yes of G-d and man, both good for the soul and the body... your marriage, your edifice, should bring you both much good in every way - and together you should have much delight from each other... so much good "that your lips should rub out from saying 'enough' good"...your father who's soul is connected to your soul, I await the redemption and salvation so that we can see each other again soon...Signed by the Rebbe's Father

Don't be afraid to say I love you. Don't be timid and say "I love you"!

Don't be so egotistical, and break yourself if need be and just say it, "I love you".

Develop some faith in yourself, be thankful, be joyful, be warm, be kind and have faith in Man and G-d and say, "I" "love" "you". For after all doesn't it also say in the Torah, "Love your fellow as yourself".

On Something No One Wants To Talk About

Wed, 28 Mar 2018 8:41:00 PM

"On SOMETHING NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT"

with Rabbi Mordechai Z. Hecht

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/something-one-talks-mordechai-z-hecht/

Horseradish & Children

Wed, 28 Mar 2018 8:40:00 PM

with Rabbi Mordechai Z. Hecht ~ www.chabadchinuch.org

If you ask anyone that has ever been to a Passover Seder - what was the most memorable part they would very possibly tell you unequivocally - the Horseradish.

Growing up as a kid in Queens, I remember always going to visit my Bubby and Zaydie in East Flatbush (E. 53rd St. in the basement (where the cow was)) where Bubby would hand grind, in those good old metal-meat-grinders with the wooden hasher, her Passover Horseradish. You pretty much knew you were on the right block already because you smelled Pesach in the air – the Horseradish that is.

In New York everyone knows Horseradish, whether it Benz’s, Bubby’s recipe, or Golds – white (pure, without beets) or red, either way Horseradish can-not be mistaken.

Quite frankly it’s these bitter herbs we place on the Seder plate to remind us of the bitterness the Jews endured in Egypt and throughout history. Most of us use horseradish, yet some Rabbis write that we should and can use Romaine lettuce (or French endives). Horseradish has a tangy sharpness to it and it burns. It makes the eyes run (amongst other things). But, it really isn’t the worst type of bitterness. In fact it’s even a little exciting at first even a little zesty (especially for those who love sharp foods, like schug, and Jalapeños). The true bitterness is in romaine lettuce and endives. The flat, insipid, dull, zestless taste – that’s real bitterness.

Our mothers and Bubby’s can further tell you that in this weeks Torah portion of Vayakel we read of the Kiyor-Laver (Shemos, Vayakhel 38,8) that the priests would use to wash their hands and feet before entering the Holiest place on G-ds green earth, the holy Temple in Jerusalem. It was made of the copper mirrors which the women have donated freely. We are taught by our sages that originally Moshe did not want to accept the copper mirrors because they were used for such vanity as “women’s beauty.” But G-d told Moses, ‘No. It was only because of their wives loving, caring relationship that the lives of the men of Israel did not become hopeless and bitter’. As they used these exact mirrors to stay beautiful for their relationships, and even go on to have children, lots and lots of children - even in bondage.

Unfortunately there are people who live tasteless, insipid lives. They experience real bitterness. Instead of trying to cultivate a loving caring a productive relationship, which may end the bitterness, they take horseradish. They opt for “exciting thrills”. Zesty now - and blah later. Instead of a little bitter now and “ahhhh later”. Unfortunately all they have truly done is exchanged one form of bitterness for another. Perhaps this is why we think Horseradish is the worst kind of bitterness. It gives hope where there is no hope and ends inevitably in worse despair.

If we are to learn anything from this part of the Seder – this part of life, it is – the bitter herbs must be a means to an end and not an end in itself (albeit a biblical mitzvah). Something we do - not because we like it - but rather because we have no choice, and can’t wait for it to end.

As with our spouses, similarly with our children. Education is supposed to be meaningful and memorable but not punishing and painful.

Pesach is coming, prepare indeed, visit Bubby and Zaydie, Yess! Create everlasting and memorable traditions absolutely, but don’t kill yourself. Perhaps, enjoy the macaroons and the grape juice more than the bitter herbs and the horseradish, please.

The ALTER REBBE, Trump & The Temple

Thu, 7 Dec 2017 10:34:00 PM

Mordechai Z. Hecht - 12/6/17 ~ Kiselv 19, 5778

The world is in disbelief.

Our Friends are dancing for us. Our foes, ehhh, who cares.

Shake the cage a little more a little less, the same rats fall out. Our enemies will always look for an excuse to hurt us and destroy the rights of free world and democracy, how much more so, the Nation and Homeland of Israel and the Jewish people.

"During the day of the nineteenth of Kislev the Alter Rebbe was freed from the Peter Paul's Fortress in St. Peters-burg and then, due to a mistake, he found himself in the home of one of the misnagdim-opposers to the Chassidim-for several anguished hours. He was reported to have said that those hours, during which he was forced to listen to his host’s abuse of the Baal Shem Tov, of the Maggid, of himself, and of Chassidim in general, were more painful than his incarceration in the Fortress." (chabad.org)

Setting aside the outright prohibitions that were transgressed in this episode such as the slanderous accusations spawned by evil informers, this dissension, as everyone knows, had a root in the spiritual realm.

"The Alter Rebbe was imprisoned as a result of mortal deeds, snitches and and slanderers of our own, sadly, and it was also as a result of mortal deeds that he was freed and that he then found himself suffering further in the home of an antagonist."

"All mortal deeds take place by Divine Providence, but they are open to man’s free choice." G‑d’s foreknowledge does not preordain: any individual can choose to obey his Good Inclination with the same fiery zeal that he obeys his Evil Inclination.

Moreover, when choosing to heed the Good Inclination one is actually helped from Above. There is a verse that says, “Behold I have set before you today life and good, and death and evil.” Another verse says, “Life and death have I set before you...; choose life!” The Gemara teaches: “If a person seeks to become defiled, the way is left open for him”; that is, the path of his choice is not obstructed. On the other hand, “if he seeks to become pure, he is helped.” (See this weeks Portion with Yehudah and Tamar)

People have free will to act as they choose

Trump, be it wise and classy, or fool and "meshuganah", he chose.

He chose to set the antagonist straight. You rat on me, lie cheat and steal and place me in Jail and now you continue to rant and rave over your foul and rotten actions.

Nations of the world have lied, cheated and stole our rights and freedoms for centuries and millennia and finally when a man in the "White' House" chooses to stand up and say the truth, the truth which every one really already knows, we get antagonized?! Indeed worse than the prison we lived in before. For one reason: history will show who our friends are and who our foe. Who celebrates in our shining hour. Nations and leaders of the world who don't join the "Free Will" of upright humanity and call the spade for what it is, are the rats of society, who were always there, but simply stick there head up once more for all to see.

In 1948 when the world turned us down, you to, rats of the world stuck your ugly heads up, this is nothing new. Stand strong my fellow Jew - this land is ours. The one upon which our Holy Temple was built time and again, and will once again be built upon very soon.

"Divine Providence chose that the Alter Rebbe should be the general in the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov. In establishing the foundations of Chabad, the Alter Rebbe set up a lamp in the public domain in order to light up even people’s workaday, mundane lives, even in the Diaspora and darkness of the Exile."

The Midrash states: “Until Avraham the world ran its course in darkness; when Avraham came he began to radiate light.” So too the Alter Rebbe in his time. He reignited the spark within thousands of Jews across the continents...and look where we are today.

Trump, chose to be an emissary of truth and G-dliness. And at the end of the day, our actions of truth and braveness are what matter. History will prove no doubt to be monumental and courageous and a source of much future blessing for all.

The world is no longer in the Dark.

We all know the difference between the evil and rattiness of the rotten people and nations of the world, and Israel - the people and it's Homeland.

"Thank You G-d for placing wisdom in the heart and mind of our leader and all the world leaders who support this move and serve to protect the sovereignty and freedom of the Jewish people, and please G-d bring back our Holy priests and our king Moshiach and our system of Jewish leadership, so peace and love can reign on earth for all people, speedily in our time, Amen"

A mountain, a field, a house & Elazar Bar Kapara

Sun, 26 Nov 2017 4:49:00 PM

A mountain, a field, a house & Elazar Bar Kapara:

On Men, women and Children

With Rabbi Mordechai Z. Hecht: 6/52

A student of the great 19th century codifier, the Chasam Sofer notes in a brilliant essay that the sages Abraham, Isaac and Jacob correspond to (3) different stages in the order of descent of humanity via the way in which they refer to the place of the Holy Temple.

Abraham refers to it as Har – the mountain, as in the verse: “He called it the mountain of G-d and…on the mountain of G-d you shall be seen”. (Bereishis 24,14) For it was Abraham who introduced the idea of monotheism for all, into the world. Yet, people were still steeped in paganism and idolatry and honor and ego were necessary as incentives for believing in G-d.

Isaac refers to it as the field, as in the verse: “…and Isaac went out to speak in the ‘field”. (Bereishis 24,62. [see also Ezekiel 27,29]) By the time Isaac’s generation evolved and progressed people were settling their lands, farmers. Isaac embraced these people, in their farms and fields and talked to them ‘farm language’, incorporating G-d into that, not egotistically but still not purely altruistically interested in G-d.

Jacob refers to it as the house, as in the verse: “…how awesome is this place, the House of G-d…” (Bereishis 28,17). By the Time Jacobs generation came around, they evolve even further, now that we have the real estate, and the farms are set, now let us build a house – a home really, a place where we can have children and perpetuate ourselves. The truest and purest of the 3 generations in the eyes of G-d. It was through Jacob that the 12 tribes were born and the nation of Israel really begins to take form.

(Yafech Laketz Parshas Vayeitsei)

The Talmud teaches us that: “One who has no home is not a man.” (T. Yevamos Ch.6;Tehillim 115,16. See also T. Brochos) Surely we can say this means that one who does not have a building - a house, one who has to always move is deemed a nomad and not a blessed human being. Referring by example to Kain, who killed his brother Abel, as a nomad and not a man. Because, he was punished to be a wanderer in the land and not be able to settle down.

But we can ask, is a man not a ‘man’ because he has no house? Many a man rent. Many a man move often, are we to say this a curse? To answer this question let us consider further.

CHILD, OR DEATH

Similarly we find in this week’s Torah portion another seemingly blanket statement. Rachel turns to Jacob and says: “If I don’t bare you any children, Maysah Anochi – I am dead”. As Rashi Comments from the Medrash:”from here we learn that ‘One who has no children is like dead”.

Are we really going to say that one who doesn’t have children is like dead. All would agree that children are a blessing and a gift and the women has the tool to bring children into the world and should essentially want to maximize this gift, but is she ‘dead’ if she doesn’t? What was Rachel saying?

The Maharal of Prague in his commentary the Gur Aryeh, comments on Rashi and the Torah here and answers this question by way of an analogy of a Wellspring. – a Maayan, Be’er Mayim Chaim – “How does one define wellspring, that which produces water continual and continuously. Once the well dries up, it cannot be deemed a wellspring. Similarly he explains, when is a human deemed alive - when it gives life! has children! Otherwise she indeed deemed “like dead”. If ‘man’ does not perpetuate and keep the linage and progeny going, they are like dead. A bold statement indeed.

So in turn Rachel was saying, I know Jacob you are going to be the father of 12 tribes and more, I want a part in that awesome endeavor. I want to be a part of the perpetuation and great lineage that will be the Jewish nation – to serve G-d and make the world the best place it can be.

GOOD ENVY

Which helps us shed light on the Mishnaic statement of R’ Elazar Hakapar who stated in Ethics 4,21: “Envy, lust and honor remove a person from this world.” If the envy is for foul purposes, then indeed it may bring you to your grave expediently, but if the desire is not for your own ‘lust and honor’ but for a greater good and cause - for G-d’s honor - there can be no greater aspiration then this. Rachel desiring to be part of something soo holy and special is not only permissible-envy but admirable.

So in turn, a man is as much a man without a ‘home’- as a women is without a household.

"On not going back to sleep"

Mon, 20 Nov 2017 4:08:00 PM

ויצא

with Rabbi Mordechai Zev Ben Harav Sholem Dovber Hecht

Anshe Sholom Chabad, Kew Gardens, NY

“ויקרא לאחיו לאכל לחם (רש"י) אוהביו”

(Bereshis 31,44)

ויאמר לאחיו לקטו אבנים (רש"י) בניו שהיו לו אחים נגשים אליו לצרה ולמלחמה

(Bereshis 31,46)

TO EAT & SERVE

There are those who come to Shul לאכל לחם – “to eat bread”, perhaps for the coffee and cake, the kiddush, the hot cholent, they will attend functions and dinners and truth be told that’s very nice, participation in any and every form is wonderful. In turn, there are those, as Rashi so eloquently puts it, the אוהביו - the friends and patronizers of the shul or community center.

But what does a shul really need, what really makes up a community, what bolsters and strengthens a community, לצרה ולמלחמה - those who are always here for the shul and the community, “in good and in bad, every crisis and difficulty” – “they gather the stones” – they address the hard issues and components that we may face as a community – and they come together and help build and solve the issues, support their fellow community members whenever needed.

“They” - are truly the בני יעקב, the sons of the shul and community center.

TO STAY AWAKE

As we see only a bit further in the Parsha, ויקץ יעקב- ויקץ פרעה, )Bereshis 28,27) , both Yaakov and Pharaoh sleep and had a dream and then wake up. But there is a difference between the awakening of Yaakov and that of Pharaoh. Pharaoh awakened: but he goes back to sleep and ויחלום שנית – he continues dreaming, nebach- sadly.

But when Yaakov dreams and wakes up thereafter, he exclaims with enthusiasm: מה נורא המקום - - “how awesome is this place”, and he immediately builds an Altar to Hashem; and he offers his share to Hashem.

Let’s be real, life can become monotonous, sometimes we are lucky and inspired to do something, but often enough we go back to sleep – what I like to call Pharonian behavior. Then there are times we are aroused from our virtual lethargy and idle dreams – on “good days”, like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur at our Bar Mitzvah maybe, or even our wedding day, or G-d forbid when sorrow strikes and someone becomes sick or even dies, Hashem have mercy. The message that is so clear from this Parsha is: don’t allow the lethargy to set in, wake up and stay up - don’t allow of the Kelipah the Yetser harah, the evil inclination of ויחלום שנית - to kick in. (see: Shulchan Aruch O”C Siman Alef)

TO CONTROL & LEAD

This clearly applies in our -עשה טוב - our doing of positive and good. Yet, surely this may apply to our סור מרע - turning away from evil as well. I recall, about 20 years ago when Rabbi Leibel Groner, the secretary of Lubavitcher Rebbe ZT”L came to speak in our Yeshivah Gedolah in Australia and he was speaking to us the Talmidim and he was talking about our Middos and behavior and he said: “When a person walks on the street, goes through life, naturally he will see things, what can you do, that’s life, so seeing something as you go is one thing, however the 2^nd time, why did you turn your head again to look the second time?” – In this lies the challenge of life, he stressed.

This too Is the Kelipah and Yester Harah of ויחלום שנית - our task is not to let it take us over, but rather we must be strong and follow the teachings of the Mishna of: איזהו גבור הכובש את יצרו – who is a truly strong person one who conquers his Yetser, conqueror both in the staying away from bad and in the positive performance of good.

OUR GENERATION

Earlier generations had sages of all sorts, from the Tannaim and Amoriam to the Rishonim and Achronim – this generation I believe is the generation of precisely this - כובשים – we are perhaps very different from the Tzaddikim of old, but our challenge is what makes us great and affords us the great challenge of being a כובש – not only a comptroller but a conqueror, as individuals and as community builders, with the help of Hashem – so we too can be called בני יעקב.

Good Shabbos.

Every U.S. State a Gunman?!

Thu, 9 Nov 2017 12:55:00 PM

EVERY U.S. STATE A GUN MAN?!

Hear this:
"וְיָצְאוּ ישְׁבֵי עָרֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל וּבִעֲרוּ
וְהִשִּׁיקוּ בְּנֶשֶׁק וּמָגֵן וְצִנָּה בְּקֶשֶׁת וּבְחִצִּים וּבְמַקֵּל יָד וּבְרֹמַח וּבִעֲרוּ בָהֶם אֵשׁ שֶׁבַע שָׁנִים" (יחזקאל לט,
פסוק ט)

"And they that dwell in the cities of Israel shall go forth, and shall make fires of the weapons and use them as fuel, both the shields and the bucklers, the bows and the arrows, and the hand-staves, and the spears, and they shall make fires of them seven years". (Amen)

This is a verse which is a source in ancient Biblical Hebrew for the word Gun or weapon.

Ironically, it is also the same letters and is the same root word of the word in this following verse, which means kiss. Yes kiss!

וַיַּשְׁכֵּם לָבָן בַּבֹּקֶר וַיְנַשֵּׁק לְבָנָיו וְלִבְנוֹתָיו וַיְבָרֶךְ אֶתְהֶם וַיֵּלֶךְ וַיָּשָׁב לָבָן לִמְקֹמוֹ" (בראשית לב, פסוק א)
"And early in the morning Laban rose up, and kissed his sons and his daughters, and blessed them. And Laban departed, and returned unto his place."

You may draw your own conclusions. (Just please no more drawing guns).
But I would say, as God created a flip side to each n' everything in exsistence, more love could equal less guns, less pain n sorrow, especially for those who are (deeply) challenged and disturbed (and why). Consider this : Reach out, bring someone closer.

Every state in the US now has Gun-Man, I say "every state a love-man, and women". 😉.

Love is an answer!

Lineaglessness, Ibn Saruk & Rashi 2/52

Sun, 29 Oct 2017 5:31:00 PM

On Menachem Ibn Saruk, Rashi

and Lineagelessness 2/52

with Rabbi Mordechai Zev Hecht

G-d Promises Avram Children

This weeks Torah portion of Lech Licha is a monumental one where G-d continue to test Avram in so many ways, and at the same time promises him soo many blessings in the most profound way ever recorded. One of these dialogues between G-d and Avram goes like this, in Bereshis chapter 15:

(1) “After the words, of Avram who verbalized his worries about losing his future reward, the word of G-d came to him in a vision saying:”Don’t be afraid, Avram!” I am your shield, (to protect you from being punished for the people you killed in battle) – “Your reward is extremely great” -.

(2) “Avram, said: G-d, Almighty G-d, what could you possibly give me? For I am Ariri - childless, and the steward of my household, is not my own son but Eliezer of Damascus”. An Avrahamic whine regarding the fact the he, and Sarah his wife, married for decades have no kids.

On this verse Rashi Quotes Menachem Ibn Saruk, the authority of Jewish root words in Rashi’s day, of which certain sages wished to wash away his expertise while Rashi’s own son Rabbeinu Tam wrote a letter explaining why Ibn Saruk was in fact a respectable authority on the roots of words and their meaning in Jewish tradition and history.

Rashi quotes: “Ibn Saruk translates the word Ariri to mean, Avram was whining that he has no Yoresh – Inheritor. Referring to Malachi 2;12 and Iyob 31;12 as his basis for the meaning. He further brings it’s meaning in French, [the language at the time which was common tongue, that even the “5 year old could understand”) as ‘Dis-en-fants’: childless.

Then Rashi further says:

“V’Li Nirah - my opinion is”: Based on Shir hashirim 5;2, Tehillim 137,7, Chabakuk 3;13, Yermiyahu 51,58, Tzefanya 2;14, Ariri means Churban – destruction.

QUESTION:

The question that comes to mind here is how “bad” is Menachem Ibn Saruk’s fedinition.After all it makes sense of the sentence?! And If Rashi was not happy with Ibn Saruk’s meaning why bother with even mentioning it. Just tell us your opinion. After all you are Rashi the Commentary, compiling your work – no need to mention Ibn Saruk at all?

Let us consider the following 3 points;

LINEAGE- LESS

1. No doubt Rashi respected Ibn Saruk and if he saw that meaning and interpretation was needed here on this word, who better to refer to than Saruk – the authority. Perhaps, perhaps in some instances this word may have the meaning as he so states. However Rashi is all about meaning but also about ‘context’ and so Rashi goes on to tell us what it means ‘here’. Clearly doubling up on the sources for his definition and meaning of this word, drawing different conclusion to the root of the word and it’s meaning. Fairly so.

2. Or perhaps, Rashi was showing us in turn what Ariri is. Imagine I create a dictionary or lexicon and no one respects it, like Avram saying, imagine I have blessings, but no children to keep those blessings going – what would it be worth?!

3. Or even better so, if we go with Ibn Saruk’s meaning all Avram is really whining or worried about is that he no kids. But he does, he had Yishmael with Hagar. Rather, Rashi I stressing that Avram was complaining about a catastrophe - a Churban – what could be a churban in Avram’s eyes? Perhaps, imagine that all I have is my son Yishamel – and no son with my natural wife and my very righteous prophetess wife Sarah – who would be the greatest source of lineage?! Yet, Avram can’t say it verbally, because he can’t make his concubine Hagar and his son Yishmael, whom he loved dearly, feel bad over this reality, but ‘we can’ read into the words of this great Tzaddik, prophet and sage Avram and say what it is he is really saying to us. Which would be: “All I am left with is a righteous servant, not even blood relative and not a Hebrew but rather a Syrian – albeit righteous one, what I need G-d is a blood son who will perpetuate my values in its entirety.

LINEAGE- FULL

4. Now lets us consider this 4th point: Or perhaps, and most likely is as the Lubavitcher Rebbe explains elsewhere on this portion, What Avram is truly afraid of is this: Imagine G-d, I invest all my powers, all my energy all my soul into something and I get nothing in return?! Imagine it only lasts for a short period of time. You G-d want Judaism to prosper from day one of creation, Bereshis, Beis Reishis –for 2 reasons you created the world. One, the Torah and Two, the Jewish people. G-d if you going to help me get the hob done we are going to need a blessing that will pull us through “all generations” and guaranteeing us an “everlasting Jewish Future”. One where there will be no catastrophe, no churban.

Every Jewish mother, father and educator can relate to the fear of Avraham and now according to Rashi even the child of 5 years old can relate to him as well – a Jew must be profound, thorough, lineage-full and not Lineage-less, physically and spiritually.

On Social Behavior & Leadership 1/52

Tue, 24 Oct 2017 2:46:00 PM

- Rebbe Yehoshua Ben Perachia -

On Social Behavior & Leadership

1/52 : By Rabbi Mordechai Z. Hecht

He was the head of the Jewish Court (Nasi Sanhedrin) in the 2^nd century CE. He was a known zealot in establishing law and order in the Jewish community. Some even attribute him as being the one who denounced the infamous Yochanon the High Priest (Kohen Gadol) as a Sadducee- (Tzidokee) and had him impeached after 70 years of service in the Temple.

Some further attribute him as the one who pushed away Yehoshua the Notzri, learning from his mistake and becoming the author of the following statement. One of the very few statements in the entire Talmud quoting him.

“Yehoshua ben Perachyah and Nittai the Arbelite received [the Torah] from them. Yehoshua ben Perachyah says, "Set up a master for yourself. And acquire for yourself a friend. And give everybody the benefit of the doubt." (Avos 1:6)

This statement of his is a monumental one. Some say, the “friend” refers to a student-friend (Talmid, Chaver).The methodology of good education must be that every teacher should refrain from causing too much awe and fear upon their students, for then they won’t be able to absorb the teachings.

Students are Priceless

Furthermore, in conjunction with an additional Talmudic passage, “from my students I have learned more than anyone” (Talmud Taanis 7a) we deduce comfortably that a wise teacher would go ahead and even pay for good students, for that would ultimately serve in the teachers best interest as he may just learn more from his friends and students than anyone else.

Teachers have a tendency to dominate and use strict and severe terminologies and methods, when in fact what our sage here is teaching us is, that as he has found, that methodology just won’t work.

In our 21^st century we could call Rebbe Yehoshua a prophet, or would we better say, “there is nothing new under the son” – love-respect works better then fear-severity, as any experienced educator would serve to prove.

One Final Say

Interestingly, the commentaries stress here on this ethos something else as well. Humans love information. We love doing research. We always want to hear more opinions on matters, yet often what we are left with is a whole lot of information and jargon and no “executable-wisdom”. We need to journey to find structure and guidance and advice that we can apply and execute precisely in our lives. There are other teachings which advise us to gain wisdom from all.

The connection with Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Perachya and Noach is the fact that Noach apparently did not go out of his way to obtain disciples and friends and bring them closer to G-d (unlike Avraham who Maimonides rules, inspired Tens of Thousands to follow the way of monotheism). Albeit he did not personally believe G-d would actually destroy the world, still he mad eno effort.

Eventually, Rabbi Yehoshua when realizing this as no way to serve G-d and maximize one’s potential on earth, he made a public statement - We must make friends and we must have students and we must establish for ourselves a good teacher and mentor or even master who will guide us properly and who’s advice we will accept not forcefully but willingly.

I AM NOT GOING THESE HIGH HOLY DAYS TO SHUL

Wed, 13 Sep 2017 1:28:00 PM

I AM NOT GOING THESE HIGH HOLY DAYS TO SHUL

By Mordechai Z. Hecht

This article is not one of those perfectly sized or perfectly placated ones. You’ve been warned.

This article is different.

I'm gonna ask a series of questions and then, well then the ending is in your hands. Like your life. Well atleast part of it!

Have you ever read the Rabbeinu HaRav Meiri on Teshuvah? The Rambam's Laws of Teshuvah? How about Shaarei Teshuvah of Rabbeinu Yonah? One more, Misechtas Yoma or the Avodas Yom HaKippurim Hamevuar?

WHO

If you answered yes to any of these questions, this article is not for you. At this point I'm going ask you kindly to please close your online-internet service provider and move on. Because you probably are all excited about the upcoming holidays. You probably reserved your exact seat in Shul already. You probably upgraded your Machzor to a leather bound one - with your name on it. Hah! You probably either got a new Kittel – the white robe many traditionaly wear, or you just took yours out of the Dry Cleaners. You probably gave in to your “lust” and purchased that pricey shiny new buffed shofar – all just in case the Rabbi doesn't show up, or perhaps to blow for your family members who don't make it to Shul.

I would, but I can’t stop there. You probably went out and bought every fruit and veggie on the the New Year's "to have a sweet year eats these foods" round-table list. You are probably well on your way to a wise and meaningful, educationally packed, oh soo traditional Yomim Noraim- days of awe season.

Therfore, reading further into this article would possibly be considered Bittul Torah- wasting time, when you can actually be studying Torah or performing other acts of kindness.

YOU

I digress. Let's try this.

Have you ever read "The Jew in the Lotus"? "Towards a meaningful life"? "The 5 love languages"? "Struggling with the Divine"? "To pray as a Jew"? What about the "Tract on prayer"?

Tattileh, (term of endearment) I'm afraid, if you have, this article is also not for you. You my friend surely have another billion things you can now go on to read, but frankly, not this. (And we will “talk more about this later”). Frankly because you probably have all the print outs from all the great Jewish websites with all the inspiration you can get on the Holiday season. You probably called all 4 of your Rabbis to make sure you didn't miss anything. You've probably also been to at least 3 or 4 classes already prepping you and motivating you spiritually for these awesome days. In which case you've heard it all! Ambiguity is the doorway to monotony. I don’t want to be that usher.

LISTEN

Nitesche, Tolstoy and Tom Sawyer & Huckelberry Fin? Cinderella and Superman? Have a TV or Netflix?!

Wonderful! keep reading. You are the guy or gal, man or women I'm talking to.

Let's talk ”Pinky and the Brain”.

Albeit not one of my childhood cartoons, like “Popeye the Sailor Mentch” and “Mendy and Mouse” or “The Golem”, but a show I came across later in my life and I was always intrigued by the sheer craziness of this cartoon.

For those who forgot or unfamiliar, it's the wild n' wacky tale of two Lab Mice (nice way of saying ‘rats’) characters, a big headed one who is called "Brain" and his most comical co-hort, a whimpy little mouse called Pinky. Together, they attempt, time and again in each episode, with all sorts of schemes, to take over the world. (I know what your thinking... I have no answer to that question). More often than not, due to their idiocy and arrogance they fail at taking over the world.(Although some of the ideas are quite genious and very innovative.)

OUR STORY

Using this backdrop, ever wonder if maybe we are precisely this story. Always trying to take control of our lives and get smarter and be more successful and fill our life's aspirations and dreams, only to sadly come to realize that in fact all too often we are indeed - simply a mouse chasing our own tail. Following a leader that may need a better and wiser less arogant leader of it's own.

This time of year can be daunting for so many of us. Think about it! Literally! That's what this time of year is all about.

30 days of preparation in the month Elul - the month of returning, all leading up to Rosh Hashanah - the New Year. Then 2 days Rosh Hashanah, which this year runs straight into Shabbos – making it a trifecta “rest” period. Then a remaining 6 days of the 10 days of Teshuvah and then Yom Kippur, which falls out on Shabbos this year.

It can get heavy. Like a big fat pile of books on our back while walking up a mountain.

Maybe not all of us and maybe not always, but many of us and more often than not, like in the cartoon, “Brain” never really ever conquers the world, (not in my present cognizant knowledge atleast). Judaism is often the same for many of us. We all have all sorts of ideas of what Judaism means to us. We embark on all sorts of “trips” with great expectations and sadly often these expectations quite frankly are not met.

May I ask, which Shul- synagogue can guarantee that just because there's a Brain that we can guarantee you the world - when we can not. I can easily further conclude, (as a Rabbi and Cantor) that just because their is an awesome cantor who can sure inspire some – can gracefully put to sleep many others, only waiting for this long drawn out, foreign-langauge opera to end.

THIS YEAR

So this year I emphatically say with no regret, I am not going to Shul. I'm not going to read some ancient "brain"- book aka. the Machzor. I'm not even going to give sermons this holiday season to “tell” anyone what to do. I am desperatley going to try not to bore you (Ideas welcome).

I am however going to go to my (our) community-center, my (our) Chabad home, where I am humbly privileged to be a spiritual-leader and take these few days to try to lead by example, this holiday season and to reflect. I'm going to do this precisely because I too am not sure that "I'm running to Shul". Which Jew can honestly say they "always" want go to do "every mitzvah" they're obligated to do "all the time"?! And this too is ok - and is absolutely normal for every single human being who has both a Pinky and Brain.

PAUSE

My writing coaches would say, well said, now stop. But like Brain, I am slighly arrogant, and my mind and heart is still full with much thought, and I will ooze them out right here, and only you can decide to read on or go back to whatever other very important thing you have to do.

EIGHT

I continue! It is precisely for this reason I'm going to take some valuable time afforded to me to think about my life and I am going take some time to ask myself precisely 8 questions:

1) Where do I find myself in the “Brain” of the prayer service - the Machzor. Am I going to be a lab mouse or am I going to get real?! Where do I find myself in connecting to my soul’s calling?! I will search the pages of the machzor for meaning and purpose in my own personal life and daily grind.

2) Where is my brain going? What dreams do I have and are they realistic? What am I in need of? What exactly and precisely do I want this coming year and why?

3) When will I call it quits on something I’m attempting? When do I need to work hard in my life and when do I need to keep trying - even harder?

4) Who will I do it with. My life. With whom will I attempt to perfect my life this year? With whom will I read books, and study? With whom will I learn from how to be a better leader? With whom will I spend my free time (lol. Time is not free. Time is priceless)?! With whom will I trudge through the tough days of my life? With whom will I sit in shul with this whole year (curiosty killed the mouse…or the cat) Man was never meant to do it alone, life is much more enjoyable with help from a “loyal” friend.(ask Joe Cocker)

5) Where will my arrogance begin and where will it end this year? When will I apply it and when will I wisely set it aside and open my heart and mind to things that are even perhaps beyond me, but known to be good and healthy and profitable things?!

6) Mission! What in the world is my mission? Iwill definitely revist this one this year and in depth.

7) Doubt! No doubt I will allow it to navigate my steps and at times I will erdicate this little raw “Pinky” in my life and ask myself honsetly, why so doubtful?! I will explore and try to explain the doubt.

8) Idiot proof my life. Life needs to be Pinky proof. Our decisions and our actions need to stand the test of time. So this year I will ask myself, how can I execute my life without botching it up? And reconsider all of the above.

PRECIOUS

I hope, and with no expectations what-so-ever, that I will find some meaning and inspiration this Holiday season.

I would like to believe that this time will be time well spent, in helping me gain clarity and get closer to my essence.

At worst, I will have spent precious time with students, collegues, family and friends, and that is priceless and for this alone I am so grateful that we have these holy days to bring us all together.

VALUE

And hey! wheather you’re a “Brain” or a “Pinky” or just agood ole’ human being, let us not forget, and let us not throw this awesome opportunity away. Think about all those who can't go to Shul and put it in to your life perspective. Appreciate the awesome opportunity at our doorstep. How many people do you know that are Hospital bound and can't make it Shul or a community center, even if they wanted to?! Be it because of a recent accident or injury or a chronic illness or medical procedure. Sitting all alone in a hospital room bound to the adjustable bed, with a plastic sheet, commode in tow and green Jello left over from the Reagan era Cold-war bunker survival tests.

Or perhaps your have a friend or have heard of someone connected to someone you know who may be in jail, whatever the reason.Who may be locked behind bars unable to freely practice their God given right. How many Jews can you think of that live in remote places of the world too far from the Shul or community?! Or how many Jews do you know crushed by a Hurricane or earthquake stricken, physically, mentally, morally and monetarily this year?!

Also, let's not forget all those who couldn't find a baby sitter to enable us to come to Shul and connect. ( If you need an excuse I just started your list). I think I’m just about done here. We all know all to well, life is not a cartoon. We have a life to live and a real personal,psyical and spirtual world to conquer. We need this time together. I need you, my friend. Because unlike Brain and Pinky, you and I, CAN actually make a difference in our own lives. To accomplish and finish anything you need to begin, and the High Holy days is a good place to start.