BS”D
People Are Lonely I A Thought
By Mordechai Z. Hecht
In Honor of Shneur Chaim Yitzchok Alexander Ben Nechama Dina
I recently visited an elderly lady, a Holocaust survivor, 98 years old, sadly she told me she was taking a medication which wasn’t working, and that she wanted to go to the Hospital because she had water in her lungs. When I asked her “who should we call if G-d forbid something happens to you”, she replied “no one”. To which I was aghast.
“I know this lady”, I thought to myself, I know she recently lost her husband at the ripe old age of 103, but I also knew that she also has children, thank G-d. I was shocked, until she went on to explain to me that she was her husband’s 2nd wife and that her children- or rather his children, don’t talk to her. So, if she would die she doesn’t have anyone who we should call. Once again, I was aghast.
I could’ve sworn there was nothing worse than the Holocaust itself and her suffering therein…I may have learned a very deep lesson that day.
A few days later I met a middle-aged women whom once again after telling me that she was feeling terrible pain in her chest/heart eventually told me that she suffers from Anxiety, and then she says, as a tear drip out her left eye and down a cheek, “oh! One more thing, my mom died last week”. When I asked her as well “who should we call if G-d forbid something happens to you” she replied, “no one”.
Now, I was having déjà vu, all over again. My mind was racing why would G-d have it that in one week I should meet two women, that can without any double-thinking tell me so out right that they have “no one”?!.
ANALASYS
Yes, it’s true they both lived in apartments in a good neighborhood in a nice building and they both had what they needed financially. They also both had pre existing medical conditions. They both recently lost loved ones and they both had living family. But, the only real connection I made in my mind between these two women is but one thing, they were both two human beings - who were strangely alone - and were feeling very lonely.
Can you imagine someone that does not have all those pros in their lives, and how lonely they must be in this world?!
ACTION
Do you know someone that is lonely? Or maybe someone going through a tough time, that needs a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to listen to them, whole heartedly.
It’s not every day you meet someone that tells you outright, in different-but clear-like-day words, I’m alone and lonely and need your help, please! Screaming, but silently! Crying, but with no facial expressions, or tears!
WHEN I WAS YOUNG
When I was about 9 years old there was this skinny middle aged guy who used to tell me about this little cottage in the mountains and how he runs his own water and electricity and is entirely independent from the “grid”. At the time I remember thinking how cool that was. Each year he would bring Aravos – willow branches for Sukkos to my Zaydies shul from his river-water front. This guy was a loner. But I was never really worried for a guy like this, these kind of guys thrive on selfdomness. Like another friend I have, a Scout master and avid outdoorsmen who biked across America- himself - and was enthralled by his experiences, as he would describe it, “it was liberating”. These kind of guys I don’t worry about.
THE SIGN ON THE BEDROOM WALL
When I was growing up I used to go to my grandma’s house in East Flatbush and in the upstairs bedroom there was little sign on the wall (and I recently saw it in an old office of a friend which reminded me of it) that read as follows: “ Why Worry? You are either healthy or well. If you are well why worry?! If you are sick, you will either get better or worse. If you get better why worry?! If you get worse you will either live or die. If you live, why worry?! If you die, you will either go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven why worry, if you go to hell…You will be too busy saying hello to all your friends you won’t have time to worry.”
I saw the sign for years. Reading it, and re-reading all the weekends I spent at grandma and grandpa’s house, to the extent that I remembered all the words verbatim.
But you know what, this is a lot easier said than done. Man has worries and man has worries. Although there are some who adore selfdomness, the majority don’t.
Sometimes, one can be so deep in their sorrow, their sadness and challenge that the only way out is with the help of a friend - someone who genuinely cares and is concerned with their well-being.
As humans we can help. We really can make a difference in someone’s life, if, we can genuinely show that we care and are concerned with their wellbeing.
A PERFECT WORLD
The Perfect Utopia has still not dawned upon us. Exile is vibrant and strong. Animosity, strife and yes loneliness is wide spread. Don’t be fooled by those people with the big flat screens in their couch-rooms those screens are only means to pass time. Even those people really want social interaction, friendship camaraderie, safety and security – family, and a real life filled with love, affection, compassion, and celebrations of life and success.
Be a good neighbor. Be a good a Jew. Reach out so someone that can use your help, Today. You never know it can be your own family member or the neighbor down the hall.
YOU NEVER KNOW
On that note ill share one more anecdote. I once was visiting an elderly gentleman in an assisted living rehab facility. The family had asked me to visit him and say some prayers together. When I got there, the person was sleeping. Nonetheless, I went on with the prayers on his behalf. On my way out the man in the bed next to him turns to me and says, “Shalom”! We got to talking when he turns to me and says, “sorry my roommate was sleeping…would you pray for me”?! Of course we prayed and he was grateful, oh so grateful…
My dearest friends we do our part, and G-d graciously guides the way to complete the task, albeit perhaps differently than we planned some times.
Nessa wrote...